Thirteen years ago I went to Kripalu Yoga Center in, Massachusetts, to assist Anodea Judith with one of her workshops. I stayed after I completed my job and took another training of hers. The simplest way to explain the training was we were learning to work through the chakras to manifest our dreams.
At the time, I was wound pretty tight and still worked for the government. I had younger children, was a full time working mom and felt the need to not miss a single thing my kids did. I put a ton of pressure on myself to be perfect and the best at everything I did. My identity was tied up in my job title and being a great mom.
I knew I didn’t feel aligned with my job, but I was very successful and moved up quickly. With the upward mobility gave me financial options to do things like take 10 days off and go assist my teacher so I made it okay to stay in a job that wasn’t fulfilling to me emotionally.
I also couldn’t envision myself doing anything else. The thought of starting over was frankly overwhelming. I felt completely scattered because this concept of leaving my job left me confused. I’m very much a visual person and couldn’t quite envision my life away from this job I had been quite successful in. When I was at Kripalu, I was working on writing a book. So, my time in this training was working on my flushing out my time frame, removing obstacles and lining up my support team to finish this book I had started. Although, that also felt forced. I just couldn’t seem to find what flowed naturally for me.
Anodea led us through a guided meditation. I can’t really tell you what the mediation was, but I will never forget the outcome of the meditation. I found myself at the end visualizing a glass cabin out in the woods and the message was “just be.” For someone like me receiving a message of not doing was so foreign to me that it really made me mad. I actually felt like I had been cheated out of a darn good meditation with being left with doing -nothing. How could this possibly be?
Ten years later, my seamless path opened up and made it easy for me to leave that successful career to start a new journey as a small business owner and full time yoga therapist at Om Prana Yoga. My work ethic has not changed nor my determination. It just has a different focus now. Many have heard my talk about my tattoo on my arm and my journey into ‘being’ after my retirement. My tattoo says Om Shanti Om-Peace For All. That peace has to start with me. It is a constant reminder.
Have you ever had a message keep coming back to you in other forms? This “Just Be” message just keeps smacking me upside the head like a tetherball swinging around and around. Last week I had had several nights of crazy dreams. I also keep being drawn to one of my student’s blog posts about spirit guides. I woke up one morning and decided to order a dream interpretation and a meet my spirit guides report. (I just got really woo woo here, but stay with me.) I knew my dreams were working through a situation of mine but I was missing the point and I really wanted to start sleeping better. I was ready to try anything. My dream interpretation was on point, as usual. I had never done a ‘meet my spirit guides’ and found that report to be not only fascinating, but guess what the message was at the end. To paraphrase here the report said the one word was in bold black letters on a white back ground- BE. Well, there is that message again…13 years later. This time I wasn’t mad. I laughed.
The best part about teaching yoga is at sometimes I end up with the lesson that puts my life completely in perspective while my students are exploring their own lessons in their body. Today, we were working on releasing our psoas, abs and making space for a diaphragm. We started in one pose to observe a postural position, then did our practice and returned to our postural position. I asked how they felt and a student exclaimed she felt “stronger”. I honestly wasn’t expecting that stronger response nor that half the class agreed with her. So here is the rest of the lesson, when you let go of what your holding onto your in a stronger place to JUST BE. Thanks Becky for finishing my lesson!
What an interesting time of year to work on “just being”. During the holidays when we work ourselves into tizzies cooking, trying to be the perfect hosts, getting the prefect gifts, being on our best behavior around extended family we don’t see very often. Where in your mind or body can you let go of built up tension so you can feel stronger so you can just be for the holidays?
PS…if your curious, here is Mary’s website. She does great work! https://sevencupsmystic.com/