This Little Light Of Mine…

February 1, 2021

I don’t know about you but January tested my shine, perhaps more than other months during this pandemic. At the beginning of the month, I started the Heart Talk Journal for our first Journal Chat session. As it would work out, week one asks you to check in with yourself. Then the challenge was to ask how you were REALLY doing. 

Like most women, I have been conditioned to say I am doing fine. I mean does anyone really want to hear if I am not? Honestly? In the process of telling everyone else I’m fine I have conditioned myself to automatically tell myself that I am fine. Only, on the day that I started this Journal, I really wasn’t and when I was honest with myself about how I was  REALLY doing, the answer made me sob.  I needed a good cry. 

Life has been weird, rough, strange, unpredictable, confusing, heart breaking with lots of ‘what just happened’ mixed in.  My real answer that week was I was not doing okay-at all. I was depressed, lonely and disappointed.  I have had several long term relationships really show their true colors that have ended with my being completely dismissed and not included.  Nothing new, but something that I certainly had the time to sit and observe without being too busy running around to make excuses for the dismissive behavior.  The pandemic reality continues to be that we as a community are not making progress towards getting this disease under control and thus, no forward movement to getting any classes going in-person anytime soon. I freaking miss people. And I am an introvert!  

Next month we will celebrate our 7th year in business in downtown Parkville.  For 7 years I have had dreams of what my business was going to be. For 7 years I have had dreams of what the downtown area could be: Hip, fun, and the place to go. Ironically, it appears downtown is finally achieving this goal with new businesses moving in-during a pandemic. Who knew! HAHAHAH This leaves me frustrated and annoyed that we can’t ethically fully operate our business the way we were just a little over a year ago. I want to be part of downtown’s continued growth. And I also am committed to living my yoga practice of Doing No Harm. 

Many of my weekly highlights have been teaching Livestream yoga. I love that we are still able to practice yoga, have fun and have that connection with one another. I know some are loving the online platform and others are missing being in the studio. Know, I feel the same way to both. Also know we are not going anywhere. Our business has not closed, nor will it. I have a ton of plans for our business and building. Our building will be waiting for you all when it is safe to breath around each other again. 

My husband annoys me with his assessment that I am not patient. He is right, I am not. (Yes, I just put that in writing.) This pandemic is making us all learn self-control, decision making and patience in a way we have not been required to consider in the past. Be patient, be smart, show diligence in your health and those who are in our community. Know it is okay to tell someone you trust when you are not okay. We will survive this and be all the shinier for it! 

Speaking of our 7 Year Anniversary….I’ve never been a good party organizer. Anyone have any good ideas of what we should do to celebrate this milestone online? By the way, this porcelain star and several other cute ones are available in the boutique for $17.97!

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